Many people who show up in my office don't know where to start when contemplating a divorce. As a lawyer, I see a divorce as divided into three primary categories, maybe just two: children's issues, property division, ongoing spousal support. These categories are considered to be independent of each other, but in real life they all play into each other. For example, if there is not enough money (property division or support) then how can I afford to send my child to college?
The easiest issue is usually the property division. Anything that is marital property is usually divided. (This is Ohio law, and you need to seek specific legal advice for your situation, but this general information is provided to help guide you.) There can be issues of financial misconduct (hiding assets, spending money on a paramour, voluntarily reducing income and assets in contemplation of the divorce so the other spouse doesn't get them) and there can be issues about separate property. Usually inheritances, gifts given to one party in particular (e.g. birthday gift) and similar things are separate. The biggest issue is identifying all of the assets. Before coming to a lawyer, it is best to get together copies of all statements of any accounts or investments, along with copies of the titles to any vehicles, boats, trailers and the like. Make a master list of everything you own. Usually you can just say household goods for most of the things, but if you own an unusually expensive item you might want to list that separately. Sometimes, just the making of the list can help you figure out how to divide things. And don't worry about dividing that pension which you don't think you can touch. If you need to divide it, the court can issue what is called a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order), which will minimize the tax consequences of dividing the account. You probably need a lawyer to do the QDRO.
If there are no children, determining spousal support can be the most difficult issue. Generally, during the course of a marriage, under Ohio law, the income that is derived, regardless of who earned it, is considered marital. This can be a very emotional issue, especially when one spouse feels that the other spouse did nothing and deserves nothing. However, for those who are willing to compromise and work toward a resolution, you need to understand that when there is a disparity in income and there has been a long term marriage, it is likely that there will be an award of spousal support. While Ohio law does not currently have a formula for determining spousal support, most good family law attorneys can help you with the analysis to determine what would be a fair amount and length of time for spousal support. You will need to bring in proof of income both for you and your spouse. Prior tax returns are good, but recent pay stubs should also be included. For people in business for themselves, it gets trickier, so bank account statements showing deposits for the past year can be helpful.
Children's issues can either be very easy because the parents have figured out who gets the kids when, child support is determined by a formula, and the parents are working together for the benefit of the children. Look at my earlier blog on children's issues for resources to help in this area. However, if the parties don't agree, this could be the most difficult part of the case, and in some cases I have seen people spend all of the property down to fight over custody. There are guardians ad litem, forensic custody evaluators, mediators and a variety of other experts, that might be used in a custody case. There can be ongoing disputes about visitation and custody, or even the amount of support, who is paying for school, who gets Christmas Eve, how the summer is divided, and the list goes on and on. I have seen some couples fight until the children are adults. Sometimes the fighting is just necessary for the sake of the children, but understand that the Court, which looks at evidence, will ultimately rule. That is why you should gather together anything that helps show the Court why you should have custody. School reports, photographs, police reports (if applicable), names, addresses and phone numbers of people who could be witnesses for you. All of these things should be gathered and copied before even filing the divorce, so that you are prepared.
Finally, make a list of you important questions. How will I live while the divorce is pending? (There are temporary orders and your attorney can explain that to you.) What do I do with my old car that needs major repairs right now and my spouse has told me I am not allowed to spend the money on it? (The attorney can guide you so that you are not exposing yourself to financial misconduct by getting the repairs or buying a new car.)
Armed with your property list, you tax returns and pay stubs, the school reports and list of questions, you are now ready to have a very productive meeting with your counsel.
And most of us foolishly don't charge for that initial half hour (me included!) For more information, just call me at 614-564-6500 or email me at pamela.makowski@gmail.com. Also, if you didn't get there from here, check out my website at www.MakowskiLaw.com.
Good luck!
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